… back to life, back to reality

Well, this week kicked off my return to the real world and it was not as bad as I thought it would be… it has been a pretty decent couple of days! Plot twist: my anxieties were irrational (duh). Also, I like lists.

Irrational anxieties (taken from my previous late-night rant) and their results:

  • All travel-related anxieties (losing luggage, airplane troubles, etc.):  Did not happen*
  • Elliott not being happy to see me: He was very excited and has been glued to me since my return. He has stayed on my heels and doesn’t leave my side. He has been very playful. Whenever he can’t see me, he constantly turns around to see where I am. He was very happy to be sleeping in my bed (Dad and Suzette didn’t let him in their bed at night) again and loved burying himself under the blankets and pillows. We have snuggled a lot.
  • Elliott being sad at my apartment: Non issue. He has run around the place 400 times and re-peed on EVERYTHING around the building/on our normal walking route. It’s hilarious. If he’s sad, it doesn’t show.
  • Work not needing me/not being able to pick up where I left off: Jokes. My first few days were busy catching up and getting organized but the people that matter were definitely happy to have me back. It took Josh about an hour of going through things with me on Monday and I felt good from there.
  • Nieces not being excited to see me: Non issue. Bailey knew I was coming so didn’t appear very surprised/excited but she talked my face off and wanted to tell me everything show me everything and do everything and I count that as being excited. She also said “I miss you for a long time” several times and that melted my heart. Olivia was hilarious. She was much more ‘surprised’ and visibly excited. She looked older too; it’s crazy what 1 month will do! We played a lot and laughed together a lot. She’s a hoot.
  • Not getting back into my gym/yoga routine: TBD. I’ve been busy and have not had an opportunity yet. I am not entirely worried about it anymore though.
  • Not getting back into healthy eating: Non issue. I stocked up on fruits and vegetables on Monday and have already gulped down more glasses of water in the last few days than I did the entire trip. It’ll be fine.
  • Having a bad number on the scale: I gained 0.0lbs while I was gone. High fives all around.
  • Friendships being different: I met some awesome people through Chris and I think those might fail (which would be unfortunate because I really do like them) but otherwise, probably good.
  • Relationship being different: He’s a coward. I actively avoided getting involved for TWO months before my trip so that exactly what happened, wouldn’t happen. To hear and understand me, convince me otherwise, and then let EXACTLY what I didn’t want to happen, happen is hurtful. I had a great trip but it definitely would’ve been improved if I wasn’t stressed out and/or in tears every night for the last week. I’m sure he’s a decent person deep down inside but… #boybye.

In addition to almost none of my anxieties coming to fruition, here are a few more positive things:

  • Snuggling with Elliott every waking second.
  • Sleeping in my own, queen size bed with actual blankets and pillows.
  • Using my own, normal sized shower with great water pressure.
  • Alleviating my neck and back pain by carrying my normal purse again instead of my crossbody one.
  • Having control over my transportation and being able to take myself places.
  • Eating non-continental breakfasts.
  • Eating fruit and vegetables and drinking FREE water.
  • Listening to music again!
  • Playing with my nieces.
  • Going to work (I know, I know… seems like a weird ‘positive’ thing but believe it or not, I like my job and the people I work with and it was weird not being in the office for so long. I worked 8.5 hours on my first day back…).
  • BBQ!!!

Noteworthy struggles:

  • Setting up radio stations. I had to Google ‘Houston radio stations’ because my car’s battery was replaced while I was away, therefor erasing my preset stations. I could only remember 92.9 and 104.1. Embarrassing.
  • Driving. How do I defog the windows? Why are my mirrors not in the right placed? What’s a speed limit? Kidding, it wasn’t that bad. It was interesting though.
  • Using a computer/keyboard/mouse. Shout out to my BIL for letting me use a very old, very small, very slow computer on my trip so I could store pictures but wow, looking at a large, non-distorted screen was an adjustment. Typing? Nightmare. A mouse? What is life? The first hour was an embarrassment.
  • Ordering lunch. Josh and I went to Chipotle and I almost ordered the wrong thing. I hate myself for not remembering my beloved Chipotle order.
  • Grocery shopping. I leave for a month and the Kroger near me gets remodeled. It should not be that difficult to find toothpaste.

Lastly, here are a few PSAs to all men:

  • The statement “I talked to [insert family member here] and realized [insert bullshit reason here]” is the most absurd reason to end something and makes you more of a coward than any thing else you could do. Why? Because instead of owning your own feelings, you’re putting the blame on someone else. And instead of formulating a real, valid reason, you give some generic “it’s not you, it’s me” line. That is not doing anyone any favors. Kevin gave me that crap last year and I am so done with it. Have an original, authentic thought of your own, people.
  • Saying “I wasn’t putting on a true face” makes you a child. Why don’t you just be who you are at all times? Saying “if you knew the real me, you’d understand” is equally as ridiculous. Why not show me the real you? Why hide that? How will you ever get to know someone if you aren’t real with them? Isn’t it exhausting faking who you are? Sounds like a nightmare. And, who is to say I wouldn’t like the ‘real you’ if you showed me?
  • The line “guys like me are not good for girls like you” is one of the most offensive things I’ve ever heard. Who the hell are you to tell me what is good and bad for me? Can I not make my own decisions? Am I not a smart, capable human being? How do you, of all people, suddenly know what is best for me? The arrogance from a line like that is disgusting.
  • You do not distance yourself/ghost a person in an effort to be polite. If you are trying to be polite, you IMMEDIATELY be upfront and have a mature discussion about whatever realization/concerns you suddenly have. Ignoring a person and making them legitimately worry about your well being for a week and a half while they are a world away is incredibly selfish and messed up. To drag something out unnecessarily for a week, in an effort to ‘be polite,’ is a joke.
  • Never offer someone the opportunity to talk in person or still be friends if you don’t mean it. It makes you more of a spineless dick.

Wow, I feel better getting that off of my chest even if it is a tad juvenile. I don’t hate you but your timing was terrible and your approach was deliberately hurtful so I do hope you work on those in your future. Enjoy the gifts from Europe I brought you, you don’t deserve them. Best of luck.

Anyway, it’s been a good week so far and I am happy to be back at it. I don’t know how often I’ll continue blog but I do enjoy it!

Jillian

*Everyone else in the group who booked their travel through AESU had serious travel issues. They boarded their plane early afternoon in Athens, took off, saw smoke coming out of the wing, heard the pilot tell them the wing was broken so they were releasing fuel so they could land safely, then landed back in Athens. Their flights were cancelled and rescheduled for the next day. The next day, the SAME THING HAPPENS. Apparently, United didn’t fix the plane. Flights were cancelled and rescheduled again. I don’t know many details from there but it looked like half were able to re-book through a different airlines and go to London, stay the night, and then head home Tuesday. That’s an additional 3 travel days, mostly spent at airports. I felt so bad for them. 

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